Last week came and went like *that!* We were able to see 3-D pictures of our little guy, and I still can't decide on a name. I am down to two...Evan Edward or Brennan Edward. I will say that those 3-D pics creeped me out a bit; it felt like I was interfering with the pregnancy for some reason...but I eventually warmed up to it. He looks a lot like Avery did at birth with a cute button nose. We even got to schedule his birth day, which was weirder, but there were a few days I had already ruled out...St. Patrick's Day (poor kid would have to wear green on his birthday), and the Ides of March (15th), when Caesar was killed (and Caesar was the origin of the cesearean section, you know...two strikes there). I'm not really superstitious, but I didn't want baby to be cursed even more than he already is. :-p If you'd like to know the date, just email me...I don't really want to publicize it yet.
This weekend topped off my stress level. We went to the outlet mall in Tuscola, which was nice because the kids' stores were having HUGE sales, and we were able to get a lot of items for under $5 each. I don't even think I could get things that cheap at Wal-Mart or consignment! I wanted to pick up a few things for Avery because I knew I wouldn't be able to afford much after the little guy was born. I didn't get much for her though; she was a terror. It was like an alien took over her body and went nuts. She even threw a tantrum in OshKosh B'Gosh and people had to walk over her...ugh.
Then, both moms decided to make phone calls and complain about the time they needed to be in Jacksonville after baby's birth. ARRRRUUGGGHHH When Avery was born, my parents couldn't stay overnight for work reasons, so they left and came back. Now my mom is insisting that Bryon's parents go home and come back. The first time, Bryon's parents pretty much left my house a wreck- they drank/ate our groceries, couldn't put their clean dishes away, and didn't have the decency to change the sheets. Usually I would do all that, but I was in the hospital...so I did it when I came home. My mom had helped me clean my house from top to bottom a few weeks before, and I've asked her to help me again and she flat out refuses if his parents are going to "trash" my house like they did last time. I'm trying not to play favorites here, but both sides cannot afford to stay in a hotel. I'm not opposed to having them spend time at the house during the day so they can play with Avery and keep her entertained on the days she's home (she will go to daycare to stay in a routine), but I feel that the evenings should just be Bryon and Avery, who needs her daddy more now since mommy's away. I cried my eyes out last night and didn't sleep well, because there are no winners here. And with my c-section, I don't know how long he'll keep me in the hospital so I can't divide days evenly until I get there.
Do I sound totally irrational? I know both families are very excited and want to be involved, but I can't please everyone...and the way it's going, I'm not going to please ANYONE, including my husband. I'm at the point where if no one abides by my requests, then there will be a birth plan at the hospital and only Bryon (and hopefully Avery) will get to see baby. That's how frustrated I am, and Bryon just shoves it off. I went way out of our way for his family when his mother was diagnosed with breast cancer, and now his mom expects it every time (she has a clean bill of health, yay for that!) and I can't get through to Bryon that it's time for US to set the rules and if they don't like it, too bad. She continues to give him a guilt trip. I'm at my wits end, people. I really don't know what to do. And my mom doesn't get to visit much because of their financial situation, so she makes it to be such a big deal when she comes over and whines about how many times his family comes over and we go up there (we go up there because that's where our friends are, not just because of family.) And I tell her she can visit anytime she wants and she gets all pissy. Seriously, it's a tank of gas...room and board are free.
All I do know is that Avery, Bryon and my cats will be the only ones in the house when I am discharged from the hospital. I feel that time is critical to our family and no one else needs to be there.
But I'm at a loss for everything else. If you have some advice, I could use it. If your friends have advice, I could use it too.
1 comment:
If I may make an observation...
It doesn't seem like there is much consideration for YOU, the pregnant person who is going to have #1 surgery and #2 a new baby. Seems like the parents are only focused on their needs and comforts which is certainly selfish and most certainly unfair to you and your family.
I know I have mentioned assertiveness in the past and it is a hard thing for people to conquer. You are well within your rights to firmly state that you deserve the right to be a little "selfish" regarding your and your immediate family's needs before and after the baby (which of course is not selfish at all). They can work around you, instead of the other way around. They don't "need" to be there, they want to be there and need to understand that you aren't a travel agent extraordinaire or a hotel. No wonder you are stressed out girl! If they chose to be difficult then they are the ones losing out.
While I haven't had any kids yet, I have dealt with difficult in-laws. I just try to set my mind to what I know is best for me and my husband and go with that regardless. I figure they probably won't ever like me anyways! :)
Good luck and I hope that everything goes the way that you want it to!
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